#29

For Jasmine

i don't own this beauty
but i will protect it like it's some white and girl-sized rose
walking around in tiny shorts and a high pony tail
feet slightly turned in
still (thankfully) aware there's something for us both to guard

this ferocity is not what i expected
when i put the picture of the blue eyed pink cheeked cherub
on the box of the cassette i made her father
for he and i to make love to
this ferocity that turns itself on me
"i hate you"
and i have to remember
even though i didn't say it to my mom
i was once just as fierce
imploding not exploding
i'd rather this
than anorexia and cysts

this height, this strength, this perfectly styled hair
none of it is mine
but all of it is mine
to guard as if i am a taloned beast
with sharpened teeth

and when the lights are out
pillow feet press
into my bony shins
the hand flung out across my chest
the sleepy words

i love you
mommy

this belongs to me

Comments

  • Exitonpch Sunday, 16 September 2012

    From above You have a girl you have a boy you hav...

    From aboveYou have a girlyou have a boyyou have another boy.She's an angelwhose wings get regular dustingsand every so often a prayer.Meantime her brothers groanfrom growing bonesso you keep getting remindedthere aren't many days leftuntil their eyes countyour gray hairsfrom above.He grew two inches taller this summerwith a darkening upper liprevealing an ephemeral baritone whenever he speaksto an adult or orders take-out but when he bosses his brother arounda teen tenor.He took up fishing, now tying knots and devouring fishbooks while throwing back the catchpatiently casting and trollingoften reeling in nothingbut smiles.Their eyes counttears still, though, sometimesfrom a load of homework, more often fists or tauntsand every once from missingher

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